My scammer’s story

I tried to get to know the people trying to rob me

Thomas Brown
8 min readJun 7, 2021
Courtesy YouTube/Scammer Payback. Indian phone scammers in their offices.

Lucy called me on Friday to steal my money.

That isn’t her real name and, technically, she didn’t call me. The automated system used by her Delhi-based call center did. Lucy was merely the “officer” on duty the system routed me to when I pressed #1 after an automated message:

“This is the Social Security Administration Department. You social security is suspended. Please call to avoid penalties authorized by US Government Agencies and Laws.” The mistakes are intentional. It was bad. Somehow the robo-voice had an accent. As scam calls go, this was comically bad so far. And I’ve heard enough to compare, I’ve wasted hundreds of hours answering surveys and screwing with scammers.

Yeah, I’m that guy. I pick up strange and blocked numbers. My friends and family are kind of perennially itinerant with their devices and locations so that unknown number could be someone from Malaysia as easily as someone paid to call me. I also ran a public polling firm for a few years so taking phone surveys is kind of nerdy fun for me. And if I can waste a criminal’s time, well, maybe not such a waste of time after all. [If you want to watch professionals actively messing with scammers there are more than a few YouTube channels dedicated to it. For those inclined to indulge…

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